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Dating Information |
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Too Ugly? Too Short? Heres How To Turn Your Flaws Into Strengths
If you're worried and upset about your physical flaws, which prevent you from attracting women, then I've got some good news for you. Not only can you eliminate those flaws, you can turn them into your advantage. I'll explain how by bringing up an example of three guys who were very successful players in their day. So here's a trivia question for you. What do Steve Tyler of Aerosmith, the late rapper Eazy-E, and Curly from the Three Stooges all have in common? The answer is they all had voices so high that if they had wanted to, they could have talked to someone on the phone and that person wouldn't have known they were speaking to a man. It would have been simple for all three men to have hung their heads in shame and turn into beta males who never got laid and never even could get a girl to talk to them. In fact, I've coached a lot of men who have limiting beliefs when it comes to things like their voice, their looks, their genetics, etc. You name the trait, and there's always somebody who uses that trait as a negative belief, which sabotages their chances at success with women. However, despite their high voices, Tyler, Eazy-E, and Curly were all masters of a simple technique that turned that big flaw into a big trademark that made them even more attractive to women. It's a simple technique that I learned when I studied Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and it will help you as tremendously as it did all three of those men. In order to develop the confidence of my students, I have them learn and apply this concept. The concept is called reframing. Here's how reframing works. Basically, you take every negative belief that you have and turn it into a positive, uplifting question. Do it like this: 1. "I feel bad about my voice" becomes "How can I use my unique voice as my own trademark that sets me apart from other guys?" (That's what Tyler, Eazy-E, and Curly all did.) 2. "My face is pockmarked from acne" becomes "How is my face totally awesome? How can my lack of natural good looks actually help me with women?" 3. "I'm too short" becomes "How can I height to my advantage?" As you ponder your new, reframed questions in your mind, your brain will come up with answers to them. For example, you might find that it's to your advantage to not be a "pretty boy." Women expect good-looking guys to talk to them, so when you're displaying the confidence to talk with them, their guards will be down. They won't expect you to try to pick them up. That gives you a window of opportunity to display your confident, alpha male personality. Being short can allow you to gain rapport much easier with girls than taller guys can. Tall guys have a psychological communication barrier a lot of the time because they're literally speaking to a lot of girls (who tend on average to be shorter than guys) from a different level. So remember, it's not your flaws that get in your way. It's your limiting beliefs that do. Your ugly face doesn't get in your way of meeting women. Instead it's your belief about your face, which interferes with your inner sense of confidence. That lack of confidence is toxic, because women pick up on it instantly. For a woman to be attracted to a guy, his confidence level is one of the most important traits that he can have. You can become comfortable with yourself by turning your flaws from weaknesses into traits that set you apart from the bland, ordinary guys. So I want you to stop reading after this, get out a pen (or open a blank document in your word processor) and write out your negative beliefs. Then write positive, uplifting questions about how to turn those flaws into good things. When you become happy and comfortable with all your traits, through the technique of reframing, you'll become unstoppable with your self-confidence. Gain that kind of confidence, and you'll magnetically attract girls to you. John Alexander is author of "How to Become an Alpha Male," a dating success guide found at http://www.becomingalpha.com
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