| |
| |
|
Divorce Information |
|
|
|
Divorce Makes Us Stronger
My friends call me the "Divorce Poster Child". At the age of 20 I was married, and by 22 I had our first child. My husband was away at work every weekday, so it was just myself and the baby, from seven in the morning, until five thirty in the evening, every weekday. Eventually, my husband and I found ourselves with three children, and we were now both working in the same industry. We worked for his company, and he was still away at work every day, while I managed to work from home while taking care of the house and the kids. We worked apart for all of our marriage, and we got to the point where, when we were together, we had very little to talk about besides the kids, and work. Eventually, there was even less to talk about, because it would seem that my ex-husband to be, was getting more and more distant. I sensed the distance, sat him down and said, "If you're feeling like you want to be a single man, don't go behind my back and sneak around because you want to be with someone else. Don't make me do all of the detective work that I see those poor women on T.V. having to do before finding out that their husbands are cheating on them. If that's what you want, then go. Let's cut our losses now, and do it amicably." To which he replied, "I would NEVER do that! I don't want to be single. I love you guys. What would make you say that??" Apparently, at about that time, my soon to be ex-husband was slowly developing younger woman syndrome, and eventually decided that he would rather be a single man. So, to make a very long story, somewhat shorter, I wasn't about to leave the home that I raised my children in, so he left (That's the Coles' notes version.) We've been divorced for four and a half years now. I went through many phases. The first was definitely blinding anger, followed closely (actually overlapped) by betrayal, which came before overwhelming sadness and feelings of failure, which were replaced by apprehension. Apprehension stepped aside to welcome self-pity. Major self pity. Self-pity was quickly replaced by revenge. I went on a spending spree, maxxing out his credit card twice. Each stage came with its own set of ups and downs. I've learned so many things about myself because of my divorce. I have acquaintances who are going through the same things right now, who ask me for advice, and it surprises me to hear them say that they're having the same feelings and thoughts that I had in the various stages of this journey. There were times when I thought that I was going insane. But we all go through these phases. I found that mine were therapeutic, and educational. I learned that I'm much stronger than I thought I was. I learned this when apprehension came to visit me. I learned that I have a lot more patience than I ever thought I could have. I learned that I CAN be the bigger person. I learned that as long as I take care of myself, my children do wonderfully. "The ex" is a regular visitor in our children's lives. We're not best friends, but I'm okay with that. We get along well enough, and once I grasped the lesson that what he did wasn't about me, my life improved dramatically. It was his mess. It was his mental and emotional mess. There was nothing wrong with me. I'm happy with my life, and with who I am at the end of the divorce process. I'm running my own business, and for the first time in my life I'm in complete control of every aspect of my life. If I want to eat Frosted Flakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner, I will without having anyone berate me for it. If I want to spend an outrageous amount of money on a pair of amazing shoes, I will (Mr. Visa loves me). My divorce actually made me stronger. It gave me the strength to be the person that I am supposed to be. All's wonderful in my world. I proudly bear the title "Divorce Poster Child". I think I just might put that on a tee shirt. Debbie Burgin is a Vancouver handbag designer, and mother of 3, who started and runs the successful handbag line at http://www.debbieburgin.com as a result of her divorce.
MORE RESOURCES:
Divorce - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Four Tips to Save You Money in a Divorce Case 1. Have an Clear Written Fee AgreementMost experienced and effective divorce attorneys charge by the hour and require an advance retainer (or deposit) that is paid at the beginning of the case. Guide To Reducing The Cost Of Divorce Seven Tips to help you keep more of your money at a time when you especially need it to support two households instead of one.Educate yourself. Women And Divorce: How Women Should Protect Themselves Financially Regarding Divorce Women who believe a divorce is a possibility or who think that their husband will be asking about getting a divorce at some point should put their emotions aside and plan "just in case" their intuition is correct that a divorce may be coming in the near future. If women who believe that the "divorce discussion" may be lurking, they should make it a point to look for solid signs that their husband will indeed ask for a divorce. Joint Bank Accounts and Divorce Here are some useful tips on joint bank accounts and divorce. If you've recently been through a divorce - or are contemplating one - you may want to look closely at issues involving joint bank accounts. Top 5 To Dos Before Saying "I Do" 1. DO allow yourself enough time to make one of your biggest life-altering decisions. Stop Divorce: Should You Try To Stop Your Divorce If Youre Just Thinking About Getting A Divorce? Thinking about getting a divorce doesn't necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce. Conversely, it could be wise to try to s top your divorce, only you know whether you should. How to Recover From Divorce As a licensed mental health professional, I work with many individuals, couples, and families who are affected by divorce. I have developed this list of survival strategies for people who are experiencing divorce. The Job of a Divorce Attorney Marriage is a very solemn and serious chapter on any person's life. However, due to personal reasons, a couple may decide to call everything off and file a divorce. Divorce--Getting Legal Help Without Paying Exorbitant Attorneys Fees Ignorance is the most common trap in the business of divorce, so becoming informed is crucial. However, friends, relatives and "common knowledge" are the worst and most expensive sources of advice. The Heart Moves On: Using Ceremony to Mark the End of a Relationship Divorce or the end of a long-term relationship is a particularly difficult experience because it makes you deal with two different sets of issues.Issues of endings, separation, and letting go (disappointment, anger, sadness, fear and trying to achieve closure) Issues of acceptance, forgiveness, becoming open to new beginnings and new possibilities. How Women Should Protect Themselves Financially Regarding Divorce Women who believe a divorce is a possibility or who think that their husband will be asking about getting a divorce at some point should put their emotions aside and plan "just in case" their intuition is correct that a divorce may be coming in the near future. If women who believe that the "divorce discussion" may be lurking, they should make it a point to look for solid signs that their husband will indeed ask for a divorce. Child Support: 5 Key Things Every Parent Should Know There is no magic solution to getting issues surrounding child support resolved. Most parents know that when dealing with the bureaucracy tied to the child support system persistence, persistence, persistence is the key that opens the door. Getting a Jewish Divorce in the UK What is the Get?The Get is the Jewish form of divorce. The husband and wife must co-operate in obtaining the Get. How to Use a Divorce Lawyer You want three things in your divorce attorney: expertise in divorce, reliability, and a good attitude. You want a lawyer who specializes in divorce (at least 50% of his/her case load), and unless you're expecting a no-holds-barred battle, you want a lawyer trained in divorce mediation who practices it professionally. Divorce and Children: Things To Consider When Youre Staying Married Only For Your Children All children are different and respond differently to divorce. Depending on the characteristics of the children - age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma - the easier or more difficult it will be for children to weather a divorce. How Can Collaborative Law Be Beneficial In Your Texas Divorce? Collaborative law is based on the realization that the commitment by the parties in a family is that it is in their best interest to avoid going to trial.This process relies on open and honest communication and cooperation between the parties and their lawyers to achieve a fair result. Five Christmas Survival Tips For The Divorced & Single Parent For the over 50% of marriages that end in divorce, Christmas can be a hugely trying time.Since the season is one of the most stressful times of the year anyway, this onslaught of raw emotion to the divorcee can be overwhelming. Divorce -Is It Lawful? The question of divorce and its lawfulness is of long standing. The law-makers of our day have tried to answer the question. Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what type of divorce advice you want and what you want to use it for. When looking for divorce advice, it is smart to clearly define what you are seeking the advice for so you can be sure to look in the right places. 5 Ways To Ensure You Will Have a Happy Life After Divorce Life after divorce is something that most people who are going through divorce think about. Thinking about having a life after divorce or thinking about how your life will be after divorce, are common because people tend to fear for themselves.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
